my vag is so smooth its legendary
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
