Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
