She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
