She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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