Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
