OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
