At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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