She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I smell stomach acid.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
