I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
