We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
