More tranny stories later!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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