Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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