ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
