so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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