There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
