Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize