Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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