There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
