My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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