there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
