Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
