She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
