i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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