It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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