No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize