I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
