pop tarts are not kleenex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
be right there i have to get my cape
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