Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You can't just leave with hair like that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
