apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
