Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
only you would photoshop your dick
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize