im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize