Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The ass gains better be worth it
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
