I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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