Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
