brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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