Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
