You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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