i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
