A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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