so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
