Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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