i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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