i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
