there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize