if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize