Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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