"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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