one two three fourrrrnication!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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