The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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