If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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