So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize