It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
