I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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