it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
