I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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