grandma shit on top of the toilet
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
and she was petting her beer can
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need a burrito and a hug.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
