She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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