Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
