You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
