Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
