Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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