If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
