Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
